An ultramarathon (also called ultra distance) is any sporting event involving running longer than the traditional marathon length of 42.195 kilometres (26.2188 mi). To many runners who have struggled to run a marathon, it seems like a crazy idea.  Here, from the Virginia Happy Trails Running Club, is a satirical look at ultrarunning.  Enjoy.

Brian's Nightmare  by Brian McNeill

“Hello, my name’s Brian, and I’m an Ultrarunner.”

“Hi, Brian!”

“Thank you for inviting me here tonight, to explain what it was like, what happened, and what it’s like now.

I guess I’ll start at the beginning and work my way forward, sharing my experience, strength and hope.

I didn’t set out to become an Ultrarunner, but then I don’t think anyone here in this meeting intended to do so either.

From social jogger to Ultrarunner

It all started about 12 years ago, when I first started running. You know, at first it was just me alone struggling to complete a mile without feeling winded or wanting to throw-up. Like a ten year old boy who discovers a pack of Lucky Strikes and turns green trying to “develop a taste” for coffin nails, I worked hard at being able to run three or four miles without feeling terrible. After working at it for several months, I was able to run from the Capitol to the Lincoln Memorial without walking. I mean, how could that hurt me? There are lots of peer-reviewed studies that say running a few days a week is actually good for the heart, right?

Then, I started running with some co-workers at lunch. You know, nothing too serious, four or five miles a day a couple of days a week. I tried to tell myself that it was just social running, and for my colleagues maybe it was, but deep down, I knew that I related to running differently than they did. They were able to take it or leave it, but I was the one always pushing the pace a little harder and the distance a little longer. About a year after my first run, I entered a 10-K. I was no longer just a social jogger; I had crossed over to become a runner. And I was proud of it. At last, I’d found something that I was really good at.

Just after that, I received a foreshadowing of things to come. While running on the mall one afternoon, I felt something move in my knee. It wasn’t really painful, but it was pretty clear that something wasn’t right. I’ll leave out the gory details, but I had my first encounter with an orthopedic surgeon. He was able to cut out some torn meniscus using a new-fangled “laparoscopic” technique. He counseled that I ought to quit running altogether. As soon as I came out of the anesthesia, I asked how soon I could start rehabbing my knee and then threw myself into the process harder than ever. My friends and surgeon were horrified. I reassured them that I knew what I was doing. After all, hadn’t Joan Benoit had the same surgery about two weeks before the Olympic Trials? I mean, nobody said that she had her priorities wrong, did they? (read whole article)

photo by providenz   

If you enjoyed this article, then please subscribe to our RSS feed or via email to receive all the updates